Index
Is the defensive attitude turning into low energy? Are gloomy moods turning into depression, anxiety, or both? This is when we know it's time to redirect our efforts because the second semester slump is here.
Our students are experiencing chronic stress. Chronic stress begins to convince their minds that they are in some sort of long-lasting crisis. When their brains feel overwhelmed by this perceived crisis, they become much less interested in learning, focusing, remembering, or even cleaning their rooms.
This month requires a pause to prioritize and reset. It is time to regroup and realign our efforts together. Let us remember our role in this system, our goals within our role, and the truly successful outcomes we are striving towards.
This is going to be a tough group of weeks, but we are going to get our students through it, and the bounce back will come soon, as it always does.
Why The Attitude and Lying?
We have brilliant kids. That's why.
Brilliant kids strive for autonomy. This is tough to parent, but ultimately, a very good attribute. That desire for independence will eventually turn into a desire to move out and build a life of their own. Which is the hope, right?
While their approach to gain independence might be flawed, the push towards autonomy is a good thing.
That strong will (again.. remember.. this is good) initiates some shame though. They feel ashamed that they need help and ashamed that they are making mistakes despite their best efforts. Aside from that, disappointing you is far more painful than a failing grade, so the solution to all of this is to keep you at a distance. Hence, the attitude and lying.
Before we get into the solutions, it's very important to note something. Reduced brain activity is literally the slippery slope to depression.
Watch out for self-harm talk, and signs of sudden onset of depression.
I strongly recommend reading up on the Take Five To Save Lives resource. (https://take5tosavelives.org)
We Prioritize & Reset
It's easy to become focused on school stresses and forget our main role in this system. We are in charge of their health, happiness, and welfare and that needs to remain our top priority.
Managing our kiddos' health is a big enough job itself. We need to be careful that we do not cast aside those responsibilities in lieu of schoolwork. Sometimes, we need a reminder to stay in our lane. Don’t be the teacher. Don’t… be… the… teacher.
Below is a friendly reminder of the super important areas in which we need to prioritize our efforts. Consider picking one from each area and write yourself a little reminder to keep that as a priority this month.
HEALTH
Protect their sleep. Cut off homework time at 8:00. Our educators have every right to assign homework, but they do not dictate how we spend our family time. That stressed brain needs sleep. Sleep is when our brain detoxifies. We need that to happen.
Provide nutrients. Our students' brains work harder to stay focused and productive, burning through nutrients, glucose, and water. Read more about optimizing brain health here: Optimize The Brain.
Encourage movement. Movement allows the body's cleaning system to work. Our students need to get the toxins washed out, and get the nutrients carried in. Do this with body movement: walks, chores, sports, activities. Make small daily changes like parking far from the store entrance, asking them to carry groceries, and sending them to get the mail. Get them moving as much as you can.
HAPPINESS
Use fun to balance stress. It is tempting to ground kids for poor academic performance, but what if their current performance is the best they have right now? Eliminating the fun stuff tends to perpetuate the cycle of inattention. Consequences are okay and appropriate, but try something along the lines of freedom, such as requiring homework be done with a parent, a daily backpack clean out, or tutoring.
Encourage happiness. Happiness is the antidote to self-harm thoughts. It is important. What makes your student smile? What makes them laugh? Do those things more.
WELLBEING
Your love. Our children are hardwired to physically function better when they feel loved by their caregiver. Dopamine, serotonin, hemoglobin, and endorphins all rise as a biological response to a parent’s love. That’s incredibly powerful. Use that power.
Sense of belonging. Sports, activities, clubs, and church are all great resources for this need. If your child doesn’t have a group they feel they belong to, they will find it for themselves, and this is often when we run into trouble. Meanwhile, you can help by celebrating your student’s role in the family system.
Sense of skillfulness. All kids need to feel like they are good at something. This is our best month to lean into those interests and natural abilities that don't have report cards attached to them. There is so much more to your child than their reading and math abilities. Artistic? Empathetic? Inventive? Musical? Creative? Athletic? Magnify, point out, talk about, and praise all of those beautiful natural gifts.
Was this helpful?
Adjusting our typical responses is tough. Could you use a visual reminder (like I do) to keep your mindset on track through the week? Health, Happiness, and Wellbeing
