Dear Loved Ones,
Catching falling grades can feel a lot like catching poor behavior. Cue the hurt feelings and arguing. In the past, checking grades was synonymous with trouble. Let's rewrite that script!
Let’s approach reviewing grades with less conflict. This is not about discipline, this is about teamwork. Before any discussion about grades, firmly position yourself on your child’s team. Your role is to help, not motivate.
Embrace the struggle. After all, the struggle is where the learning happens. We want our kids to learn the benefits of working with people to help their challenges, rather than avoid people, and hide them. All the more reason to approach this conversation with empathy.
Switch up your approach to make checking grades and talk about the life skills of tracking and managing. Normalizing mistakes, praising effort, and collaborative problem solving are all great steps towards a better semester.
Enjoy!
Are you using falling grades? Maybe grades have begun low, right from the start?
A natural reaction is a spike in anxiety with a sprinkle of frustration.
Not this semester, my friend! Because we are aiming for a better semester! This time we are expecting the expected and engaging the Grade Report Meeting strategy to teach the life long skill of catching and tracking our mistakes.
The Grade Report Meeting Step-By-Step
Once you are sitting together, looking at the same pages, and with an understanding that this will be a weekly discussion to celebrate your student's successes and efforts…
Step 1: Highlight The Good News
Highlighting the good news is ESSENTIAL. It reduces their defenses and helps to make this conversation go smoother.
Proceed with empathy. Struggling students are aware there are mistakes. They tend to feel catastrophic (as if ALL things are bad). Highlighting the good news breathes life back into them, and does wonders for helping them cooperate during this difficult conversation.
We have the tendency to jump to the problem areas, but DON’T SKIP THIS STEP.
Step 2: Identify The Problem Areas (Nicely)
Together, identify the problem areas in need of a plan. Allow your student to be the first to circle the problem areas. Anything that is circled will need a written plan. Even if the plan is to do nothing at all.
Praise good plans and steps that have already been made towards resolving any issues.
If your student jumps in with excuses and reasons, try to refocus them towards the future. For example, “Ok, so what is the plan for fixing this issue though?” Then, write it down.
Step 3: Write The Plan
Keep in mind, Promises are not plans. Plans that don’t work include asking the teacher in class tomorrow, handing it in tomorrow, will study next time, and “trying harder.”
Plans that work have action steps that are done right now, or have a written check back date. For example, emailing the teacher, scan and send late work, calling a friend to ask if they’ll help with studying for the next test, and setting an alarm to remember things to be done later.
Step 4: Follow Up
There are a few ways to do this. You could follow up daily, asking how the plan went, and updating you notes. You could also leave it alone until the next check and update the notes then.
It all depends on your student’s current performance and related need for support. One strategy is to connect how often the check in is required, to the current level of grades. For example, if there is an F on the grade report, we check in on progress every day. If it’s all As and Bs that week, we wait until the next weekly grade report meeting.
Grade Report Meeting Pro Tips
Establish that the grade report meeting will be a weekly ritual (and requirement). Every week… not just when problems or concerns arise.
Prep for this discussion by printing the grade report. Having the report on paper is really essential to this process. It allows you both look at the same thing, and write notes in the same place.
Note: If your struggling student is ADHD, please look into Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and keep this in mind as your approach this discussion.
Sweeten the deal with a snack.
Proceed with caution. It is tough to discuss your failures. This part opens some wounds that your struggling student has likely been internally battling already.
