Dear Loved Ones,
Daily check ins are a necessary inconvenience for everyone. Especially, when we are getting one word answers, right?
Getting strategic with check ins means using this essential element of our day to flex some weakening executive functions.
Enjoy!
School has started and it’s time to build after school habits. However, frustration comes when we aren’t getting productive answers to these two common questions:
“Did you have a good day?”
“Do you have homework?”
Ditch these questions. There is a better way.
The Daily Check In strategy is a sequence of questions designed to trigger memories and transition our struggling students back into work mode.
These questions activate two very powerful executive functions, that don't always kick in when they should: hindsight and forethought.
Hindsight - Looking back in time, to pick out information, needed for the present.
Working Memory - Remembering what we need, now that we need it.
Where there are memory challenges, routine is needed.
This strategy is all about building the after school ritual. Try to make the check in time, a habitual part of the after school routine. Not home after school? That’s okay! in can easily be done over video or phone call, if not in person.
Name It - Call it "check in" time, so they are aware of what is expected of them in that moment.
Stop Point - Wait until your student is stopped and focused. For example, sitting in the car, or at a table with a snack. They have a harder time protesting when their mouth is full. :)
Rinse/Repeat - We ask the same questions every day, and over time our kids will begin to ask the questions to themselves. You will know they are doingbthis, when they begin to answer your questions, before you even ask them.
Check In Questions
Trigger Hindsight
"Tell me something from your day."
Trigger hindsight by asking your student to tell you anything from their day. Avoid the assessing words "how was..." Also, avoid yes/no questions.
Flex Hindsight
"What did you think about that?"
Continue flexing hindsight by asking a neutral question. Ask your child's feelings, thoughts, and opinions about whatever they brought up.
Link Hindsight To Working Memory
"What do you need to do for school, before tomorrow?"
Link hindsight to working memory. This may take more than one question. You might even need to cycle through, asking about each individual class. Notice, this question is not "do you have homework?" because you still want to avoid yes/no questions.
Daily Check In Pro Tips
Keep this strategy a part of your daily ritual. Consider requiring that your student checks in before they are given permission to hang with friends, play video games, or get screen time. You want them to get in the habit of asking themselves these questions before moving on to the fun stuff.
Do daily check ins regardless of need or presence of homework. We want our kids to develop the habit of looking back on their day and reflecting as to whether they have something more to do, before they transition into home mode.
Creating this habit will have to start with you, and will take some time to build. Not to mention our student's tendency to want to wiggle out of these conversations. Do you best to stick with it, and you'll be one step closer to a better semester.
