Dear Loved Ones,
We are headed into our holiday season. School break is among us, and sometimes we can use a little extra trick to manage those excited behaviors.
The when/then strategy is universal. You can use it with all ages and situations.
Enjoy!
We know that our unique kids are more reward motivated than importance oriented. Let's speak their language when asking them to behave differently.
When...Then...
It's based on a simple cause and effect equation.
When a child has completed a task, then they may gain the privilege:
"When you are all finished with..., Then you may go on screens."
Less Arguing
This strategy reduces arguing because you'll be saying "yes" more than "no." Grab onto those moments when your child asks you for something and use it to motivate some positive actions.
"What child, you want something? Yes, you can! When you finish the thing that I asked you to do, then you may get the things you just asked to get."
Pro Tips:
Use the word “when”, instead of “if” because this isn’t a negotiation, it’s a criteria that you are establishing.
Start with ‘easy wins’, with tasks that are easily achievable, to get them used to this when/then dynamic. Do this for at least a week.
Try to make the difficulty of the task equal(ish) the intensity of the incentive. If possible.
Though this is not a negotiation, stay open to new ideas. Your student might have some good deals that can work.
